> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://stillrollingoutdoors.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# Becoming & Returning
- URL: https://stillrollingoutdoors.com/becoming-returning/
- Published: 2025-08-14T22:53:27.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-14T00:15:45.000Z
- Description: A return through nature.
- Author: S. Rolling
- Tags: Backtrails & Fragments

I didn't want comeback.  
Desperately wanted return.  
Self that existed before illness.  
Before survival, full-time job.

Out here, I remembered.   
Footfall on damp soil.  
Breath hurt but came anyway.   
Still here, a person.  
Not a project, not diagnosis.

Wild doesn't need recovery,  
just presence.

Becoming again,  
soft where numb,  
willing to feel,  
how hard it was.

Wasn't new, return.  
Before shame, betrayal.  
Life lives beneath.

Not here for better.   
Remember I still am.

---

← Back to [**Backtrails & Fragments**](https://stillrollingoutdoors.com/backtrails-fragments/)

---

*\* peer reflections:* [*not medical or therapy advice.*](https://stillrollingoutdoors.com/author-note/) *\**

---