The Story Behind SRO

I didn’t set out to build a blog...

I didn’t want to be seen, heard, or followed. I was just trying to survive.

Still Rolling Outdoors began as a quiet idea — a faceless, voiceless ASMR-style YouTube channel. Nature as medicine. Motion as regulation. No narration. No drama. Just texture, rhythm, and breath.

But gear costs money. And I live in a different reality now: limited income, limited work capacity, and no financial cushion after six years of unpaid caregiving, and the subsequent decade of disability that followed. That chapter reshaped everything: my body, my future, my options. So I started with what I had, words.

The blog became a way to offer something real to others navigating chronic illness and trauma. Not advice. Not transformation. Just presence. Just pacing. Just a place to breathe.

I live with Lupus, RA, POTS, intracranial hypertension, Barrett’s esophagus, and a cascade of metabolic and nervous system chaos. I’ve managed to reverse high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and NAFLD — not to inspire anyone, but because I had no other choice. Meds didn’t work for me, so I had to find another way.

I don’t want to be a public figure. I don’t want to be on camera. But I do want to offer something that helps. Something that meets people where they are, especially those who’ve been failed by systems, medicine, and culture.

Still Rolling Outdoors is for anyone who wakes up in pain before light. For anyone who moves slowly, who casts with effort, who rides because it’s the only way to feel free. It’s a companion, not a cure. A trail marker, not a destination.

If you’re here, I’m glad you found it.
You’re not alone.
You’re still rolling.

The archive began with survival.
The voice came from what survived...

I didn’t write this space for an audience. I wrote the way I’ve always written—poetic, contemplative, philosophical, reflective, stream-of-consciousness.

As a teenager, I wrote without knowing it was processing. Over forty years later, I picked up the same rhythm — less angry, less raw, less graphic. Same structure. Different tone.

My thinking has been shaped by figures like Gabor Maté, Peter Crone, Dr. Demartini, and Sadhguru: not in pursuit of transformation, but in pursuit of clarity. I never had the miraculous, transformative or manifested shift they describe. Most modalities simply don’t reach the kind of trauma that codes itself into a child’s nervous system before language even arrives.

I’m not those figures — I don’t want to be. I’ve taken what resonates and left the rest. What remains is a voice shaped by necessity, not branding. A process that somewhat resembles addiction recovery: imperfect, persistent, and quietly revolutionary.

What I carry is a lifelong hypervigilance state. What I practice is daily regulation.
I'm not “doing the work” (a phrase I find too steeped in new-age performance).
What I am doing is building something livable. A way forward that doesn’t drown in trauma.

Nature helps turn down the volume.
Presence helps recode the system.
Gratitude, peace, and agency, when they come...
Arrive through repetition, not revelation.

This page isn’t part of the regular feed. It’s here for those who want to understand the roots of the archive. Quietly offered. No spotlight.

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